Making and Keeping Friends

Disclaimer: This information sheet is for education purposes only. Please consult with your doctor or other health professional to make sure this information is right for your child.

Social relationships play an important role in normal child development, as children develop their sense of identity and self esteem through their relationships with others. Parents and teachers need to be sensitive to signs of anxiety, depression or decreased self esteem if the child is struggling to make and keep friends.

Lack of inhibition, impulsiveness, decreased frustration tolerance, reduced anger control, poor judgement, decreased motivation and insensitivity to others can be present for varying lengths of time following an ABI. The effects of these behaviours can affect the child's ability to make friends and puts them at risk of alienating peers and others. Sometimes these changes are less visible and interactions may alter in more subtle ways. However the impact on friendships and relationships can be just as significant.

Strategies to assist children to make and keep friendships

School

• Prepare classmates and friends for the changes to expect prior to the child's return to school. The Rehabilitation Team can assist with this preparation.
• Organise a "buddy" system with different students to assist the child with things like getting to different classes, preparing for the next class/subject, lunch time/playground
• Model "inclusive" behaviour in the classroom and playground
• Modify activities and tasks for the whole class to include the child with the ABI
• Incorporate activities that promote social interaction and appropriate social skills into class time
• Ensure that the child has opportunities for rest times at school, as difficult behaviour can occur when the child is fatigued
• Keep in close contact with parents and deal with any discriminatory or bullying behaviour immediately if it arises

Home and Community

• Discuss with your child their interests, what they would like to do and the sort of people they might like to meet. Sport and leisure activities, community centres and groups, specialised social clubs, churches etc are places where friendships can be fostered.
• You may need to help your child make social arrangements if they have difficulty planning activities. This may involve inviting friends over to your house, suggesting activities and helping with supervision
• Practice through role plays "greeting skills," taking turns, listening & talking, humour etc
• Inform the appropriate people about your child's brain injury so that they understand the behaviour and respond appropriately
• Give the child time, patience and assistance to relearn appropriate social interactions and social skills

Reference:

Statewide Paediatric Rehabilitaton Service, Royal Children's Hospital & Health Service District, Queensland health (July 2000)

Family, emotions and going home - "social/pragmatics folder"

Rehabilitation Department The Children's Hospital at Westmead Cnr Hawkesbury Rd & Hainsworth St, Westmead Locked Bag 4001, Westmead, 2145 Tel: (02) 9845 2132 - Fax: (02) 9845 0685 http://www.chw.edu.au/rehabilitation/