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How to talk to kids about weight

Disclaimer: This fact sheet is for education purposes only. Please consult with your doctor or other health professional to make sure this information is right for your child.

• Talking to kids about weight can be difficult. It's easy to get involved in arguments and accidentally offend them.
• The important thing to remember is to focus on healthy changes in behaviour and remind them of the good things that they are doing.
• See the Fact Sheet on "Losing Weight- why the whole family needs to be involved" for reasons why it's better that a healthy lifestyle applies to the whole family. Children and adolescents are best able to make changes when they feel well supported.
• It is important that you focus on "health and a healthy lifestyle" rather than weight loss as it can be difficult for children to lose weight.
• Try not to label people as "fat" or "good" or "bad." Use phrases like "above average weight" rather than words like "chunky" or "obese."
• Whatever your child's weight, there are things you can do to help their self esteem. Compliment and encourage qualities which are not appearance related. For example "I like the way you handled that big school assignment," "I feel proud when you look after the younger kids so well" and "It's great that you were calm before your talk."
• Try not to slip in negative-sounding comments like "Don't you think you should…" or "You shouldn't be having that." Kids interpret this as nagging and are less likely to do what you want them to do.
• Watch the negative comments you make about your own body. Adolescents will pick up if you are checking body parts in the mirror and saying "My bottom looks big in this."
• Don't compare bodies or allow your adolescent to do the same.
• If your adolescent makes an unhealthy food choice, don't make a big deal. Wait until the right time to suggest what they could have done differently.
• People eat for reasons other than hunger. Kids may eat to combat stress, boredom or to comfort themselves when feeling anxious or sad. Talk to the kids about what is going on with them so that they will be less inclined to emotionally eat.
• Feeling "fat" is usually about something else. Kids may not be able to say that they are feeling insecure or worried or down on themselves. If the time is right, open a discussion on whether anything has happened and how they are feeling - other than "fat."

• Don't label or make negative comments about people's bodies including your own.
• At times kids may choose to eat junk foods or to not be active. That's part of being a kid. However, you can make many important changes in the home environment which will help teach them how to make healthy choices (see the Fact Sheet on "Weight Management Tips for Parents" for more details).

The Children's Hospital at Westmead Tel: (02) 9845 3585 Fax: (02) 9845 3562 www.chw.edu.au	Sydney Children's Hospital, Randwick Tel: (02) 9382 1688 Fax: (02) 9382 1451 www.sch.edu.au	Kaleidoscope, Hunter Children's Health Network Tel: (02) 4921 3670 Fax: (02) 4921 3599 www.kaleidoscope.org.au